Left Behind

To those I’m leaving in my wake, I know you think me and my comrades are the “lucky” ones,— and in a way, maybe we are— but I don’t think many of you understand that yet. So let me take you on a little journey so maybe you just might.

All the way back in August 2015. I remember my first day of school I was terrified because I thought it would be super cliquish (like in Grease, or any other high school movie really). I knew I wasn’t the type to do what everyone else did just because everyone else did it, ya’know? I had no clue where I was going to fit in, or if I was going to make any friends. I was in San Bernardino at the time, attending Arroyo High. So, the day of orientation I actually asked my mom to stay with me. Of course, she told me no and that I would be fine, so I was forced to face this new chapter in life alone. Completely alone. Which is where I learned my first lesson. I can depend on no one but myself. I mean, sure I had my mom and my family, at home, but I was by myself at school, at work, and in the real world one day. But fast forward to the first day of school. I went to school and saw almost all of my friends from elementary, (I went to a different middle school than the majority of my friends) and I realized school would actually be bearable. Unfortunately, I took advantage of the help, i took advantage of the experience, but most importantly, I took advantage of the time. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon and I wasn’t putting in the work. Why? Because I “had four years”. Look at me now. Time flies when you don’t want to pay attention.

Fast forward to summer. To May of 2016. At this point, I’ve built a life. A high school life. I had friends, I had even managed a B average. Then my mom informed me that we were moving. To Barstow. My first thought? “Where is that?”. My second thought? “Great. The middle of nowhere,”.

Sophomore year was, by far, my worst year yet. Coming to Barstow back then seemed like the worst thing to ever happen to me. I decided to try independent study, and spent my tenth grade year at Mojave River Academy, MRA. My teacher was Ms. Ray. This year was the only year I’d failed any classes, and it’s stayed that way ever since. I learned one of the most important life lessons that year: You won’t get anywhere in life just by wanting it. Honestly, I am a very lazy person, and I am A-Mazing at procrastinating. Like seriously, I could probably win a Guinness world record with how great I am. Any-hoo, that’s not the important part. The amount that I put everything off,— and with some things, even blew it off completely— eventually caught up with me. My laziness was, (and unfortunately still is) one of my biggest weaknesses, it held me back. I also didn’t care. I figured I had plenty of time ahead of me, so I’d be fine. Weelllllllll, in hindsight, not the best idea of mine. I had tons of work to do in a week that I’d wait to do until the day or two days before to complete. Did I know that I had work all week? Yeah, but I didn’t care, I wasn’t willing to do my part of being who I wanted to be, who I can be. I was at a depressed time in my life. So that coupled with the loneliness I felt and Isolation I was in, — because I didn’t have friends, because I went to independent study in a town where I knew no one (‘Cause that was smart huh?)— made me want to go back to school. Never thought you’d hear (or read) that one did ya?

So, I told my mom that junior year I wanted to go back to school, like actual school with people. So I did. Which is how I, in short terms, ended up writing this paper. But that’s senior year, so back to junior year. Junior year was a good year. There was a lot that happened that year, I met my whole squad last year. Honestly, these are some of my favorite people on this planet, and I don’t want to imagine what my year would have been like without any of them. I learned one of my most ingrained lessons last year though. Midway through first semester, I got into it with someone I thought would still be by my side to this day. Then at that point I realized not everyone is who they say they are. You have to pay attention to how they treat you, how they treat others. You have to pay attention to their actions and mannerisms and what they say to and how they interact with others. Luckily, I had made other friends, friends that I knew would still be there, people that I can still, to this day, trust. These people stuck with me until the end. It set in at the same time with all of us I think. The fact that we were almost done. It hit us at the end. When the seniors were doing their chantings, crying with each other, and leaving us behind.

Now we are finally here, at the present time. Senior. Year. Remember when you first started reading this, and there was something about all of us being lucky? Well, we are. My world is going to change. I won’t miss waking up at six a.m., or the horrible food, or even most of the people. But I will miss the memories, the happiness and jokes at the senior tables. I’ll miss the organization, the love that surrounds you at the end of the year. Something you all still get to experience. The things that most people don’t realize are a part of the high school experience. High school is a time some look back on with disgust and some look back on with a huge cheesy smile on their faces. It depends on your experience I guess. That’s what this year has taught me, and if there is anything you get from this article it’s this: Don’t take advantage. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED. Your parents, your family, your friends or the time we have. Not just in high school, but in general. Do what makes you happy. I used to think getting a lot of money and being famous is what would make me happy. Hence the practical neurosurgeon job. But as I’ve progressed, I have learned that I love writing, as well as being around and working with children. So I am going to be a teacher, plain and simple. Now you guys know my story. I hope some of you see this, and I hope some of you actually read it. If you’ve gotten this far, know this. Someone believes in you. I DO. If you’re willing to read an article on another high schoolers life, written at school, while you're in high school, you got this. You just have to believe in yourself, even when no one else does.

This is to ALL of my teachers. Every single one of them. I thank you. Thank you so much on behalf of every student you’ve had and every situation you’ve dealt with, and yet you continued to be a guide for the rest of us lost uneducated souls.

This is to my parents and grandmothers. Mom, dad, you guys have done everything you could to make me happy and give me (not always what I wanted) what I needed. You guys are the best parents for me and I love and appreciate you both beyond measure. Granny, you were my rock growing up. I learned so much from you and I want you to know that I love you so much and have the utmost respect for you. Grandma, first of all, I miss you. I hope you’re watching over us, over me, and that you are proud. I wanted you here for this part, I wish I could hug you right now, and I wish you could hug mama, she needs it. We all do, you made everything better, and if not for you, I don’t think I’d be an adventurous person.

To my siblings, I will always be your big sister, and here when you need me.

And lastly, to my friends. You all made high school bearable. Aside from wanting to graduate, yall kept me wanting to come to school, made me happy, and gave me memories, thank you all.

I love you.